CurbedLA answers a vampyrphobic reader’s cry for help regarding a supposed invasion of bats swarming downtown Los Angeles with a little subterfuge:

“They’re swallows, not bats!”

Yeah, right, Curbed! And I imagine you’ll also explain that the demons crawling in the walls of my apartment are really rats, the banshee howling outside my window is just a cat in heat, or that Milli Vanilli lipsynched!

Besides, even if that video you caught is of swallows, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a flock of vampires, which have been known to change into wolves, rats, mist, and, of course, bats… so why not swallows?

…by the way, did anyone find this missing pet bat yet?… above photo by Matthew Logelin, used under Creative Commons…