Did you hear that Bram Stoker’s estate was releasing an official, authorized direct sequel to the original Dracula novel?
Well, there’s that… and then there’s Anchor Bay Entertainment’s “Stan Helsing,” a comedy about one of Van Helsing’s lesser known descendants, a stoner video store employee who has to square off against assorted horror film icons on Halloween night.
Opening in theatres in Los Angeles and New York on October 23rd, and available on DVD and Blu-Ray on October 27th, “Stan Helsing” stars Steve Howey, Diora Baird, Kenan Thompson and Desi Lydic…
Oh, and Leslie Nielsen. In drag. And because he’s such a damn fine actor, we didn’t recognize him the first time we watched the trailer (posted below).
This is important, because we’re holding a contest this week for a “Stan Helsing” prize pack, with a pair of tickets to see the film in theatres, a copy on DVD, a mystery DVD spoofed in the film, and a poster.
For a chance to win, all you have to do is leave your favorite Leslie Nielsen line from any of his films in the comments below by 8am, Monday, October 19th. A winner (or two – we’re feeling generous) will be selected at random.
To enter: Leave your favorite Leslie Nielsen line in the comments along with an email where we can notify you next Monday if you’re a winner!

“I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.”
Say, that a nice looking beaver.
It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.
All I know is never bet on the white guy.
“I want a world where Frank junior and all the Frank juniors can sit under a shady tree, breathe the air, swim in the ocean, and go into a 7-11 without an interpreter.”
Lt. Frank Drebin, The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear
Lt. Frank Drebin:
“I’m sorry I can’t be more optimistic, Doctor, but we’ve got a long road ahead of us. It’s like having sex. It’s a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens.”
The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991)
Bill took mine but will repeat “all I know is never bet on the white guy”.
“I faked every orgasm!” made me laugh slightly uncomfortably when I was 12 and it still makes me laugh.
“You’re excited? You should feel my nipples!”